Deus Ex Necronomicon
by YoSafBridge
Summary: When an S-Mart opens in Sunnydale, Ashley J. Williams meets his match. Meanwhile in true Evil Dead fashion, the Necronomicon appears shorty thereafter. Rated T for language and zombies Ahem..."deadites" .
1. The People vs Ashley J Williams

**Disclaimer: **_Don't own it, Sam Raimi and Joss Whedon do...sigh_

**Prologue: The People Vs. Ashley J. Williams**

_Very short, I know...basically my version of what happens after Army of Darkness...absolutely no flow to speak of. _

Getting away with murder is simple.

The hard part is trying to explain to a jury of your peer's why it was necessary to mutilate your victims corpse with an axe.

Ashley J. Williams was learning the hard way that things that you can get away with while trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, like dismembering your girlfriend with a chainsaw, was a lot harder to pull off in the middle of a semi-crowded S-Mart. Now all he could do was sit behind his little table in the middle of the courtroom and face the dozen people currently staring at him.

They weren't staring at "him" him, but at a miniscule version of him (lucky for them, this time not evil) currently chopping up a customer's body with one of S-Marts top of the line axes, completely unaware of the security cameras catching the entire deed on tape.

He'd known he was in trouble when the prosecution had informed him of that security tape, and by the looks of disgust on all twelve of the jurors faces, he'd been right.

Well…actually eleven, one juror was currently covering her eyes and he really couldn't tell if her facial expression resembled the others, although her face was turning decidedly green.

He wasn't worried about the murder charges; the villainous tape had at least proven he was innocent of murder via self defense. It was what would happen if he was found criminally insane that he was a bit concerned about. And by the way the trial had been going thus far he didn't have much hope for getting out of those charges.

As much as Ash had tried to explain that it was necessary to mutilate the crazy zombie bitch (Or "The out of control patron") the court was still stuck on the fact that he'd actually hacked up a person, a dead person. The prosecution maintained that anyone who would mutilate a corpse was seriously deranged and required at least psychiatric help.

The only problem with that was that Ash had had psychiatric help. Didn't help. There are just some things that you couldn't endure without going bat shit crazy.

Spending days in a cabin killing friends, family and lovers turned deadites was definietly high on that list. Ash was completely insane; he had no qualms about it. His only aim now was to make sure that the court didn't find out.

If they were judging him for chopping up one measly customer, imagine if they knew about Linda, or Scottie or any of the other bodies that were probably still littering that cabin…

_Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Especially since this is one of the worse, and extremely clunky things I've written. This plot bunny's been giving me headaches for weeks, but it won't go away. So I decided to post it and hope for some nice reviewy advice on how to drive the story and make it flow better_.


	2. Hate at first Sight

**Chapter 1: Hate at First Sight**

In the end the jurors had no choice but to let Ash off, the security tapes evidence was indisputable, it was self-defense. The cameras and testimonies from dozens of S-Mart employees and customers proved that. And as ghastly and deplorable as his actions after the customers death were, the jury decided they couldn't put the man away just because of their own revulsion of him.

Although Ash left the courtroom a free man, the looks of disgust on the faces of everyone in attendance (Including his own lawyer) told him quite clearly he wasn't welcomed in that town anymore.

It was his boss that gave him a way out, the man had never like Ash and after the deadite incident his dislike had turned into instant fear. Rather than fire Ash, and incur the wrath of the dozens of employees that he'd saved, the man had come up with a far more ingenious plan. He transferred him. He found the perfect place, a town he assumed Ash would feel right at home in, Sunnydale California.

Having been searching for an out for days, Ash jumped at the option. He figured he'd better skip town quick before some hunter turned up at that cabin and unearthed something he'd rather not have found.

His first plan was to take a plane to California, but after several hours waiting in the terminal while Security tried to discern whether or not his gauntlet was considered a weapon, he decided to drive. Besides, at least that way he'd be able to carry his Shotgun with him, he never felt quite right without the trusty weapon.

Still lamenting the loss of his Classic (which he'd never fully been able to repair) to the ravages of the Middle Ages he drove the tiny beat up car he'd bought shortly after his return. The car was only slightly worse than what you'd find at a junk yard and he'd purchased it for a stipend from an owner who seemed relieved someone was willing to pay to take it off his hands. It was held together mostly by a mishmash of paint and a bit of ever useful duct tape. Ash knew he wouldn't't get far, but the car exceeded his every expectation and made it more than halfway there before breaking down.

After futily trying to have the junker fixed only to be laughed out of the garage. He had no choice but to hitch the rest of the way there, an almost impossible thing to accomplish when your thumb is made out of metal and you're sporting a 12 gauge Remington double barreled sawn off shotgun. After awhile he managed to hail a truck that smelled of rank alchohal, being driven by a man who was more than a little tipsy.

He was dropped off about a half a mile outside of town by a driver who had been becoming more and more uncomfortable (and more and more sober) with each passing mile and had suddenly just remembered an appointment he had to make before kicking Ash to the curb. Ash wasn't gonna argue with the man, whose forearm was thicker than Ash's torso, despite the gun and gauntlet, and the chainsaw that he had safetly tucked away in his bag. He could take down deadites with ease, but this guy would have probably killed him.

After a short hike he finally made it to a large green sign, **"Welcome to Sunnydale"**…he passed it by just as the sun was going down streaking the sky with beautiful colours quite lost on him.

The town was strange, he could tell that right off. He'd done his homework before leaving; Sunnydale was a one horse town (yet oddly still sporting a university and an airport...) that had more cemeteries than Ash had thought possible and more churches than people. Perhaps it was Ash's newfound paranoia but something felt way off about this town. Where were the people? It was only a little after dusk but the streets were empty, of pedestrians and of cars…something about the emptiness was just unsettling.

After walking awhile he reached the first of the twelve cemeteries, and finally he saw some action. A man was prowling around the inside of the gate doing God knew what. Ash walked by, feeling more edgy than ever. The man in the cemetery had started walking in step with Ash on the other side of the gate nearing opening that lead out to the street. Ash could feel the man's eyes watching him every step of the way and didn't like it. They reached the entrance simultaneously and the man stepped out into Ash's path, as he passed under the light of a street lamp Ash finally caught a glimpse of his face.

"Aw, F—Not again!" He dropped his bag and raised the shotgun pointing it at the demons head, the man stopped nervously for a minute before smiling and starting towards him again. Ash was just aiming for the bumpy headed freaks brain when a shrill voice came from behind him.

"Get away from it!" He started and turned around to see a small blonde girl running towards them, she stopped at the sight of the gun apparently confused. She was a tiny thing, kinda pretty if it weren't for the annoyingly superior look she was sporting and the large pointed stick she held in her hand. What was she thinking of doing? Taking on this monster with a stick!? Idiot girl...

"Hey, babe, I can handle this. Get out of here!" he turned his back on her towards the creature who had stopped in his tracks staring behind Ash with a look that resembled terror, what he was afraid of wasn't Ash's problem, he just wanted the thing dead. It was clear to him now that it wasn't a deadite, but it was also clear that it wasn't human.

"No, I've got this...you leave." She tried to get passed him to the creature and he grabbed her holding her back. As annoying as she was, she wouldn't last two seconds against whatever this thing was.

Suddenly he found himself flat against the ground. He lay there a second, trying to clear his head and figure out what had just happened? How had that creature gotten close enough to flip him over like that? He looked up and saw that the thing hadn't moved, but the girl was headed towards it. If it wasn't the bumpy headed thing then...nah! It'd couldn't have been the chick, she was a twig, no way she could've even pushed him let alone knock him to the ground...the thing must have some sort of mind powers...that had to be it. He leapt to his feet and grabbed her arm again before she got nearer to the monster. He'd figure out what happened later, right now he needed to figure out what this chicks problem was.

"Hey, Blondie...beat it!" He yelled, "You got some sorta death wish or something?" She turned to him with fire in her eyes...small, maybe, but this chick was something else!

"You have no idea what you're dealing with, that gun isn't going to help. Now get out of here and let me handle this!" She pulled her arm out of his grip giving him only seconds to act and save her skin.

Ash cursed at the girls impudence taking aim over her head and fireing at the thing that was now trying to slowly inch away from the two of them. The shotgun blast blew its head straight off and it exploded into a pile of dust before him and the girl.

"Bu—" she stopped in her tracks staring at the pile of ash that had seconds ago been a creature of the night. She turned to him, part shocked, part pissed.

Ash quickly cut her off before she could start up on him again...

"Look honey, I've found there are very few things shotgun decapitation doesn't kill, now why don't you run on home before you get hurt"

"Honey? Hey, wake up and smell the new millennium. I have a name." The girl was getting irritable, it was cute. Ash decided to play along.

"Yeah, what's that?" he asked grinning

"It's Buffy!" She said without a hint of sarcasm. The distinct lack of mockery in her voice made the statement even funnier and Ash couldn't help laughing.

"Bu-Buffy?!" He asked between snickers, "that's your name and your complaining about "Honey"?!" With that he dissolved into laughter leaving "Buffy" with her arms crossed, fuming and trying to find her way around that rule about not killing humans.

_Reviews are nice...I live off them._


	3. Shop Smart, Shop SMart

**Chapter 2: Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart**

By the time Ash had stopped laughing the girl had gone. He looked around for "Buffy" but didn't see her anywhere. Shrugging he picked his discarded bag up and headed to the nearest motel.

This day was turning out to contain far more excitement than he'd wanted. Plus, he had to work the early shift at S-Mart tomorrow, he didn't have to time to worry about the thing that attacked him or the strange blonde chick.

* * *

Xander strolled down the aisles of the new S-Mart checking out the rather impressive selection of guns. He'd always had a strange passion for firearms that his friends didn't exactly approve of. There was just a sort of beauty to guns that his all female group of friends never could fully appreciate and ever since his soldier boy mishap on Halloween his love of the weapons had grown appreciably. 

He meandered down the aisle, procrastinating from doing any actual shopping for several minutes before pausing to gaze appreciatively at a 12 gauge Remington (sporting the tag, "S-Mart's top of the line") for several seconds before heading out to the rest of the store to get what he'd come for.

After his great shopping extravaganza he took his purchases up to the front counter. The store had only been open for a few days and the employee's were as sparse as the customers. Only three were on duty at that moment. Two were teenagers; the other was a bit more mature lazily running the express lane. Xander headed his way and placed his few items on the counter. The man grabbed the objects and listlessly swiped them.

"$12.99" he droned, grabbing Xander's $20 and pushing a few buttons, as he was making change Xander noticed his hand…it was awesome! It looked like a medieval gauntlet but seemed to have more maneuverability than the best prosthetics today.

"Nice hand." Xander commented

"$7.01's your change, Get out" Ash handed him his change and turned away. Xander grinned as he took his purchases and left. The man was rude, sure, but there was just something about him Xander liked.

_

* * *

_

Ash began his epic journey back to his hotel after a long day at the S-Mart, wanting nothing more than to get home and go to sleep.

He was still sporting his shotgun, easily hidden in his bag thanks to the significantly shorter barrels. He'd been paranoid ever since the cabin and figured he shouldn't break tradition now, especially after that freak he'd run into the night before. Nothing would part him from his trusty weapon now, not as long as he remained in this town.

He was vaguely aware of the redhead walking along the same path as him, but honestly couldn't care less about her.

* * *

Willow knew that this was stupid. She'd learned even before the arrival of Buffy that walking alone in this town after dark was not a smart idea. If she had a choice she wouldn't be here at all, but she hadn't. She'd had to stay after school…for detention.

Yes the great Willow Rosenberg, student extraordinaire had gotten detention. She could almost die of shame. She'd only gotten out of her seat to sharpen her pencil, forgetting whose room she was in. Mrs. Williams was defiantly not the person to mess with, and when she says no leaving your seat for any reason, she meant it. Willows mind was occupied with other things and when her pencil broke she'd acted instinctively…for the third time that year.

She knew when the sun went down that she should have called someone to pick her up, but she was too humiliated. So she resigned herself to walk. Besides, she had a stake in her bag she'd be fine.

She was wrong.

She was only a few blocks from home when she realized she had a problem. A guy had been following her for a while and she couldn't seem to lose him. She was just starting to get seriously freaked out when something else appeared in front of her making her jump slightly...okay so she'd gone beyond freaked to completely scared. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was just a little girl.

Willow approached the child, her fear slowly ebbing into concern.

"Hey, are you lost?" she asked kindly, she heard a small noise and her concern grew…it sounded as though the girl was crying, "are you okay?" she quickened her pace towards the kid.

"Stay away from her" she heard a voice from behind her, the creepy man.

Willow stopped suddenly, not because of the man's warning but because she finally heard the child clearly, she wasn't crying. She was giggling. The sound coming from the small girl was nothing short of evil and Willow was far past being afraid, she was horrified. The man ran up in front of Willow holding something in his hand. He was right in front of the child when she realized what it was, a shotgun.

"What are you doing!?!" Willow ran forward and grabbed the man's arm, as much as the little Damien was creeping her out; she wasn't going to let this man murder a child.

Just as she reached the man the girl looked up at her, and Willow had to suppress a shriek. The girls face resembled one of the glass dolls that Willow in her room at home, but she bore a smile that would get the doll maker fired if it were ever marketed. Her eyes were milky white and she reached her arms out towards Willow as though asking to be picked up, Willow recoiled at the thought.

She quickly released the man's arm and backed away several feet and watched as her saviour pulled the trigger on the child.

He turned back towards Willow and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the body.

"C'mon, that's not gonna keep her down for long."

"Y-You killed her!" Willow whispered

"Nope, just put her outta action for a little while, now let's go."

As the two of them left, the little girl raised herself back up and got to work piecing herself back together.

_I do very much enjoy reviews! I cannot even put into words how much I enjoy reviews. I could probably write a song if you'd like though!_


	4. Meetings and Revelations

_Thanks to the people who reviewed!_

_Mountain King: Thanks especially for your review. I love honesty. I know the story has holes and honestly, it's probably one of the clunkiest things I've ever written. I just had the idea that wouldn't go away and I felt obligated to write it just so I could get a good nights sleep…The chapter's are short mostly because I can only write in English class and type it up in Computers. I will work on making them longer and hopefully more enjoyable. Thanks again!_

**Chapter 3: Meetings and Revelations:**

Upon arriving at their standard meeting spot, Buffy had been quite annoyed to find the man she'd accosted the day before waiting with her friend. Will had told her in the phone call that some guy was with her, but really, did it have to be that guy? At the moment, though, she had bigger things to worry about than him.

"Wil', what happened?" She hastened towards her shaky friend leaving the boorish man standing looking very uncomfortable and out of place in a corner of the library.

………………………………

They were ignoring him, he really didn't care. Honestly, he wasn't even sure what he was doing here. He'd done what he needed to do; he'd gotten the redhead to the safety of her condescending little friend. So why was he sticking around?

Despite his brain telling him to leave, he just couldn't. He needed to know where the hell that deadite kid had come from and truthfully if it turned out he would have to face those things again, he wanted some help. Others had arrived now, some old British guy and a kid who looked vaguely familiar. They were all listening to Red recounting that night's event.

Ash wasn't paying attention to her story; there was really no point when he knew the end. Instead he was studying the bookshelves; most of the books looked interesting albeit quite inappropriate for high school students.

It wasn't until the others began eyeing him suspiciously that he figured he must have entered into the story and he began listening to what exactly this girl was saying about him…

"It wasn't anything I'd ever seen before…she was just a kid, but her eyes—"

"How'd you get away" asked the pretentious blonde. Red turned towards Ash at this question and he stared right back at her unflinchingly. If this girl expected him to feel bad about what he did, she must have been crazy.

"He shot her" She responded accusingly, addressing Ash more than "Buffy".

"I saved you, you ungrateful—" Ash couldn't believe this girl, he did what he had to do, he saved her life and she was looking at him like he was a psychopath…this town was no better than the one he'd been trying to escape.

"By murdering a child!?" The British guy had decided to weigh in.

"Look grandpa, she wasn't a kid, she was one of them! An' yeah, I kill things that try to kill me…I'm weird like that." Ash had moved forward a few feet towards the old man before catching himself and stopping. There was obviously no way he was going to win this argument. The looks on the faces of all those present made that clear (except, oddly, the boy…who looked merely thoughtful). There was no point in driving away people he might need later. It was time to smooth the whole thing over…

"If it makes any difference, kid's probably not even dead. I was too busy trying to get Red out of there to kill her properly"

………………………………

Silence followed this proclamation. On one hand not one of the gang had missed Ash's cavalier attitude about murder, but on the other they'd also all caught that he had risked his life to save Willow's.

Apparently, that was enough for Xander…

"Great" he stood up from his place next to Willow, "I'm Xander"

"Ash"

"Cool name"

"Thanks"

"Xander!" Buffy interrupted the pleasantries.

"Yeah, Buff' I think I already established that" Xander turned to her grinning, "What's up?"

"What's up? We barely know this man and you're acting like you guys are old pals."

"Anyone who saves Willow is cool with me, what's wrong with getting to know the guy?" Xander was genuinely confused by Buffy's apparent hatred of the man she didn't know. Sure the guy had different methods than her, but still they appeared to be in the same business. Apparently Ash knew something he didn't, because he was grinning at Buffy knowingly.

"Aw, you only don't like me cause of last night." Ash smiled as Buffy turned red and her friends stared at her confused.

"Buffy, you've met this man?" Giles asked a very flustered Buffy, who was now staring daggers at Ash.

"We had a…run-in last night"

"A 'run in?'" Xander was smiling too at the look on his friends face.

"I ran into him while patrolling, he blew the head off a vampire"

"Cool"

"Would you stop saying that, Xand!"

"Why, this guy kills vampires, saves Willow and seems to know a lot more about whatever this new big bad is than any of us do, I'm really not seeing the bad here."

"Well…He—he's….mean" Buffy finished lamely, greatly resembling a tomato by this point. She had to admit, Xander was right. The only reason she disliked the guy seemed to be because he insulted her name, which right now seemed like a petty reason. She couldn't explain it; just something about him bothered her.

She desperately searched for a change of subject, her friends were all looking at her now…it was clear they found this whole situation humourous, especially Xander. She was fortunately saved the hassle by, of all people, Ash. He had suddenly started forward towards the table littered with a pile of books looking greatly disturbed. Buffy followed him confused.

"What?"

………………………………

It couldn't be. Not again. Ash looked wildly at the book lying on the library table hoping that he was just imagining it. No such luck…it was here, in this room with him right now. The Necronomicon.

"Where did you get that?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the evil thing

"What?" He heard Blondie ask again

"That book!" his voiced rose "Where the Hell did you get that book!"

"I—don't know…" he heard the British guy answer, "It just appeared about a month ago."

"And you kept it?" The kid, Xander, asked incredulously, "Giles, I don't know about you, but to me that thing has 'evil book' written all over it"

"Well, I don't know…I thought we might need it someday and…" The idiot Brit trailed off. Which was fortunate because Ash was about to interrupt him anyway.

"Did you read from it?!" Ash demanded, knowing the answer.

"Well, yes…a bit. Only to translate the text…"

"Idiot!" Ash was pissed; he'd spent days in that cabin! He'd gone back to the past! He'd gotten through all of that to get away from that book, to save the world essentially, and this stupid British man had undone all of what he'd accomplished.

"Now, there's no need for that…"

"Do you know what you've done!? Do you have any idea--"Ash felt like strangling this man, still standing there in his tweed suit completely oblivious to the evil he'd unleashed.

"What—"

"This is the Necronomicon! Bound in human flesh, inked in blood? Ring any bells?"

"The Necro—Oh dear…"

"Now he gets it!" Ash collapsed into a chair still glaring at the very alarmed man.

"This can't be the Necronomicon, that's been lost for ages. Ever since…"

"The 12th century?" Ash supplied, Giles stared at him, coming to a sudden realization.

"It was you? You're the one mentioned in the book?"

"Good guess" Ash said holding up his metal gauntlet, "Little souvenir from primitive times"

"Good lord…" Giles continued staring at Ash, his glasses, having been removed somehow without anyone noticing, were now been polished within an inch of their lives.

"Okay anyone wanna explain what's going on?" Buffy asked suddenly. She and the others were staring at the two men, sporting very confused looks on their faces.

Ash sighed, besides a shrink (which had turned out to be a bad idea) and a few women in the hopes of getting laid, he'd never told anyone his story. This would be the first time he'd ever get the chance to tell someone who actually might believe him...he was taking it.

_Reviews please…_


	5. Obligatory Exposition

**Chapter 5: Obligatory Exposition**

_That seemed like the most appropriate title, since that is what this chapter is…a smidgen of humour and lot of arguing, but for the most part just pure, unadulterated exposition. And, yes, alas…another short chapter…I'm sorry. But I have a short amount of time to write and get this put up each day. Because of Thanksgiving Break I won't be able to put up chapters as regularly as I have been. I will still try to get up at least one (longer) chapter before going on a short hiatus...just a couple days or so._

This was something new.

Ash had never before had such a rapt audience for his story. The woman he'd told the story to were always far too interested in his rugged good looks and chiseled features to care very much about the story, and the therapist kept "taking notes." At least that's what he said, but Ash very much suspected he was doodling on that little notepad.

It took the better part of an hour to tell the complete story. It would have taken longer had Buffy not insisted that he skip through some of the details of his night with Sheila. At the end he was sure he'd done the story justice, having decided a half hour in to spice it up a bit, omitting a few of the more embarrassing aspects and elaborating the particularly thrilling bits. The gist was still the same; there was no need to burden the story with superfluous details.

"…So then the primitive guys gave me this juice and told me to say those words again. Stuff to make me sleep a couple centuries till I got back to my own time."

"Did you say the words right this time?" Damn, he knew he should have left that part out…

Well…No. Not technically… I was only 20 or so years off—all my friends were dead anyway!" Ash said defensively "Plus, S-Mart was still around and I was even able to get my old job back. In fact, things were finally going back to normal, 'til this you guys went and started the whole thing all over again."

"So…this Sheila? Did you guys—"

"Who's up for research?" Buffy cut Xander off leaving both of the boys looking severely disappointed. The rest of the group murmured their consent, save for one…

"Research?"

………………………………………

"C'mon! You've been at it for an hour; the whole town's probably dead by now!" Giles winced as Ash's voice broke his concentration…again.

"We'd get through it faster if you'd stop acting like a child and help!" He spat back, it was hard enough trying to translate ancient Sumerian without having such an uncouth man disrupting you every 5 minutes. Much to his displeasure, Ash did not take the hint. He merely leaned back in his chair and continuing berating the gang.

"Y'know, I had a friend who was into research once." Ash reminisced "She got stabbed. In the back—by my hand" The entire gang looked up from there respective books, each glaring at Ash.

"What? It was the severed hand."

"You got anything?" Buffy changed the subject. For which Giles was eternally grateful.

"Not much, the majority of the book is filled with burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages, the only pages of real use are those concerning Ash."

"What's it say about me?" Ash leaned forward suddenly interested

"It seems the book is passed from owner to owner…staying with them until their deaths, which are usually caused by the book."

"Figures. So you're saying this thing's gonna keep finding me?"

"Well…no. From what I've been able to discern, you really managed to infuriate it."

"Big surprise" Buffy muttered

"In fact, you so enraged to book that it decided to abandon you for another…"

"What? You mean I'm free? No more book following me around"

"In theory, yes, although it appears the plan failed didn't it? The book planned to abandon you, explaining why it appeared in Sunnydale a month earlier than you. But unless it's a mere coincidence that you moved to the same town, I believe you are still drawn to it. Instead of it following you, I believe you will continue to find it."

"Dammit"

"Does it say who it tried to abandon Ash for?" Willow spoke the question everyone had forgotten.

"No, it doesn't specify, but it does mention that the one it chose was Ash's heir…" Giles turned to Ash expectantly.

"I don't know what you're looking at me for; I don't even know what that means…"

"His heir? As in his kid?" Buffy inquired

"Wait, kid!? I don't have a kid!" Ash looked up alarmed. All humour gone from his face thanks to this unexpected news. That was impossible…he couldn't have a kid! He'd dismembered the only person he'd ever…oh no…he looked up at the others in shock.

"Sheila?"

"Sheila…what does sh—oh…" Willow suddenly caught on to what the others had already got.

"You left her pregnant." Buffy was looking at him in disgust for the hundredth time since they had met.

"Hey, I didn't know she was pregnant!"

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Yes! Well…no…probably not but—Hey don't blame this on me, I'm as shocked as you!"

"Don't blame you?! You're the one who—"  
"Enough!" Giles stepped in with his usual immaculate timing, "This is not helping. The question of who exactly this book was looking for is not as important as figuring out a way to stop this infection before it gets worse."

"Ooh, look at Mr. Intelligent…where were all those smarts a few weeks ago. Y'know before you summoned evil—"

"Exactly how old are you?"

"—I mean, c'mon, I've only been in this time period for a month and even I've seen that movie! You never read from an evil book, it tends to summon evil."

"You little git—"

"Do I have to separate the two of you?" Xander stepped in, "Giles, I'm disappointed in you…you're supposed to be setting an example. And you—"He cut Ash off as he was about to retort again, "Shut up." Ash sat down still glowering. "This is obviously not working, Ash you hate it here so much, then leave" Xander grabbed Ash's Remington and tossed it to him, "Go. Hunt. Have fun. Bring us back some carcasses."

"Xander, much as I'd love to toss him out for the zombies—" Buffy started

"Deadites" Ash piped up

"Whatever…I don't think any of us should be going out alone, we don't have any idea how many of them are out there by now. Or where they are—"

"Erm…Actually. I'm pretty sure we know exactly were they are…" Everyone turned to look at Willow who was now gazing out of the window.

"They're here."


	6. No More Research

**Chapter 6: No More Research**

They came pouring in, a mere minute after Willows proclamation. There were about a dozen of them. Including a small giggling girl that received such reactions from Willow and Ash that Buffy knew exactly who she must have been.

Much to Buffy's displeasure, these were not the "Night of the Living Dead" zombies she had envisioned, the stumbling, bumbling kind that would have been a breeze to take out. These were fast, and more then a little creepy. She recognized a few of them, receiving the same jolt she felt every time she had to slay someone she used to know.

Ash was the first to react, although Buffy would never admit to it. While the others stood transfixed, he leapt into motion, blowing the head off of one about to take a bite out of Willow.

"That's two favours you owe me, girly!" he yelled before turning towards the rest of them.

"C'mon! Let's do this…" He stood before the flock of deadites with his arms outstretched motioning for them to attack. It was apparent that he was trying to look cool…he looked like an idiot.

"Get down" Buffy finally reacted, tackling the man to the ground. In his haste to look cool he'd missed the deadite's who'd come through entrances other then the front door. There were several pouring in through broken windows and he was about to become lunch. Buffy grabbed his shotgun, as repulsive as it was, it seemed to be just about the only thing that worked.

"Hey!" Ash protested. As Buffy unloaded the shotgun into several deadites, her aim wasn't perfect and only one was actually taken down, but she'd at least drove the others back. Ash snatched his gun back.

"Okay, I'm the one with the gun!" he said, shooing her away from him and standing up. He began taking down deadites with ease…his aim far superior to that of the Slayer. Who was currently grabbing as many weapons as she could get her hands on.

"Xander! Willow!" She yelled, tossing them axes.

They'd joined the brawl some time before, but without weapons had had minimal luck. Despite that, they had been quite resourceful; someone had managed to stab one of the deadites in the eye with a desk pen. The zombie was now desperately trying to free itself from the chain that kept the pen, and him, chained in place on the desk.

The rest of the battle was epic, or so Ash supposed. He lasted 5 minutes before a tower of bookshelves came crashing down upon him, knocking him out of the battle, and out of consciousness.

The next thing he remembered was a bunch of voices, annoying him while he tried to sleep.

"Five more minutes, mom"

"Ash, I am decidedly not your mother, although a do feel great pity for the woman." Since when was his mom British? Ah, well…he didn't feel like worrying about details now. He turned over and tried to get more comfortable before suddenly being forced into consciousness.

Someone had hit him, quite a bit harder than was strictly necessary. His eyes snapped open and he saw the abominable Buffy standing over him, he groaned.

"What happened?"

"Apparently, bookshelves are one of the 'great Ash's' only weaknesses"

"They have always been a problem…" Ash suddenly remembered why he was lying beneath a pile of books. "What happened to the Deadites?"

"I'm pretty sure that's obvious, considering were all not dead" He couldn't tell who'd said that, but whoever it was, they just asking for it…and he'd do something about it, once his head stopped pounding.

He groaned again and stumbled to his feet. He couldn't stay down all night, much as he'd like to…he had to make sure of a few things first.

"Was anybody hurt?"

"Aw, Ash it's so sweet you actually care" He really felt the urge to slap that girl…but this was something he needed to know.

"Did anyone get bitten?!" He stared at all of them in turn, they were looking at him as though he was nuts. These idiots had just had to face off against a horde of zombies, and **he** was the one who was nuts.

"No—no I don't think…" Giles looked around, suddenly worried. Willow looked back at him in confusion and Buffy was looking questioningly at Ash.

"What?" She asked.

"Are you sure no one was bitten? Are you positive!?"

"Willow?" Giles asked

"I'm fine, no bites…Xander?" no answer.

Willow turned towards him, "Xand?"

"I'm fine" He responded staring out the windows.

"Xander...are you sure you're okay?"

"I said I'm fine!" He yelled, turning towards them. Willow shrieked.

Xander was the farthest thing from fine; his contorted face was covered in blood, more then a little from bite marks. But the worst thing was the eyes, eyes that mirrored those of the creatures they'd just finished killing. Xander began to laugh…

"I feel great! Don't worry about me, worry about your own pathetic lives. You'll all die! Just like your friend! Xander suffers in agony because of you. We will rise and you will all suffer and die!" Xander finished his rant and collapsed to the ground. His friends ran towards him only to be stopped midway by Ash.

"It's a trick." He moved towards Xander's limp form, loading his spent Remington. He came to a stop slightly out of arms reach and raised his gun only to have it suddenly knocked out of his hand. He turned just in time to see the fist connecting with his face. By the way he was knocked to the ground; he assumed the owner of the fist was the unusually strong Buffy.

"No!" She yelled, looking at him in disgust.

"Idiot!" he yelled leaping to his feet just as Xander's presumably unconscious form reached out a grabbed Willow ankle. She screamed, trying desperately to free herself as Xander pulled himself towards her.

"You're next, you're all next! Your whole miserable town will fall to us. They'll feed us! You—"he fell silent as the butt of Ash's Remington connected with his head. Willow struggled to free herself from his still painfully firm grasp and upon succeeding fell and recoiled several feet.

"Didn't know if that would work…" Ash said, "There, you didn't want him dead, he's not dead. But he's not going to be out for long, if he is really out at all." He glanced down at Xander's prone form; this wouldn't be the first time he was tricked into believed that a deadite was incapacitated. "You got anywhere to stash him?" he recieved no answer "Hello?" he turned to Buffy and her friends.

They were in shock, staring at their friend. It was understandable, but still annoying.

"Hey, blondie?! Sweet lips? Sugar tits?" she must have been very distraught if that wasn't working. He heard the redhead start to cry besides her friend.

"Christ…look you can cry and comfort each other and have your little Oprah moment after we stash the potential killer, 'Kay?" His reasoning seemed to snap the blonde one out of her self induced coma and she gazed at him as though she'd never seen anything like him before.

"What?" she asked

"Got anywhere to stash him, before he wakes up and kills the rest of your friends too?"

"Um…" she wiped her eyes, "Yeah, over there…the book cage." She headed over to Xander's body, "help me move him"

"Hell no, how do I know he's not faking it again! You're the one who wanted him alive, you move him!"

…………………………

She managed it. She also managed to wake her friends from their shock while Ash managed to do absolutely nothing but continuously criticize her for not letting him kill Xander.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened to the kid. He was the only one of you that I could stand. But once you turn, you can't come back!"

"You did." The redhead came out of her reverie to speak, "You came back…why can't Xander?" she stared up at him with a look he didn't like etched upon her face, a hopeful look.

"Sure, fine I came back. But still—my sister, my girlfriend, none of them… none of them came back. Once this happens you tend to stay dead." The girl began to cry again, and Ash actually felt bad about it. "Look, what do I know? I guess he could—maybe." He looked imploringly at Buffy, please, for the love of God, let the annoying blonde comfort her friend so he didn't have too.

"C'mon Willow, we've got through worse than this. We'll be fine. Xander will be fine, remember when he turned into one of the Hyena people? We brought him back from that, this shouldn't be that much different" this statement, while making absolutely no sense to Ash, seemed to make perfect sense to Willow. She stood up determinedly and started picking up destroyed bits of the library. Leafing through books and…Oh Hell…she wasn't was she? She was!

"Research? You gotta be kidding me!"

………………………….

They'd been at it for awhile, again. Trying to ignore the sounds of the now conscious Xander…who appeared to talked more now than when he'd been himself.

"Let me out! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!" he banged against the bars of his cage, snarling…"I'll kill you all! Nothing can stop us! Let me out and I'll make your deaths quick!" They ignored him, concentrating on their books. Even Ash was participating now, just to have something to do besides listening to the deadite.

Xander went silent for a short period of time, and they were all too grateful for the quiet to question why. Until, all of a sudden they heard him again.

"Willow?" She turned at the sound of her name. Xander was standing holding the bars. His eyes had returned to their normal colour and he had the most pathetic look on his battered face. "Wil'? Let me out. I'm okay now…you can let me out."

"Xander?" She stood.

"Yeah, Wil'…it's me. I'm okay, see. Please Wil', you're my best friend, you know it's me right? Let me out." He implored.

"Xander!" She yelled running towards the cage only to find her way blocked by Ash.

"It's not him."

"What do you mean? Look at him, he's fine!" She struggled to get past Ash.

"Willow, I think Ash is right…" Buffy was staring at Xander suspiciously, "We can't let him out."

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Xander yelled, reverting back to his possessed state as Willow collapsed to the ground in tears. "LET ME OUT! WILLOW LET ME OUT!" He continued banging as Buffy rushed to help her hysterical friend.

"It's alright, Wil', we'll get him back…" She voice was calm and gentle, but Ash could see that her eyes had turned hard. He could tell that she had figured it out. Xander wasn't coming back.

_Reviews please! Do I have to beg?_


	7. Fallen Angel

Chapter 7: Fallen Angel 

_Okay, I've learned one thing writing this…I am completely incapable of writing long chapters. Sorry. I just can't focus on one thing for that long. _

"Buffy!" Ash heard a faint call, he turned in the parking lot of the school and saw nothing…damn girl was even haunting his subconscious now. He glanced at the girl and saw she didn't appear to have heard anything, so either he had completely lost it or she had.

The death (or "zombification" if you will) of the Xander kid was apparently all that was needed to get the stupid blonde's butt into gear. And after a few minutes of collecting weapons and a couple more gag worthy moments with her still living friends she had left the library…at last.

They were going to do something productive; in the Brit's words they were going to "assess the situation", while in Ash's, they were going to "Kill some deadite scum". It was just the two of them now as she seemed to be rather overprotective of her remaining friends. They'd both been doomed to wait in the library continuing the abominable research and watching over their undead pal, who'd moved on to describing in great detail the pain Xander was experiencing and how he was going to kill them and everyone they loved. No wonder the girl wanted to get away.

"BUFFY!" Okay, now he knew he'd heard that, and from the way the girl stopped she had too. They both turned to the source; a dark haired girl was running up towards them, her obviously quite expensive skirt and blouse were looking rather worse for wear and her breathing indicated that she'd been running for a long while. The worst part was her tear streaked face which indicated quite clearly that things were worse than the blonde girl had imagined and right on target with Ash's predictions.

At the moment, though, Ash was far too busy appreciating her body to care…finally a girl with curves! He'd begun to think this town was devoid of them…

"Cordelia?" Buffy asked, "What happened"

"My parents—they—they attacked me!" She choked out, "The whole town's gone completely nuts! And I—I figured 'town's gone crazy, Buffy will know what to do' y'know?" She stared at Buffy pleadingly.

"Your parents attacked you?"

"Yeah, they started saying all these weird things and came after me. Oh and they're eyes went all white…is that important? Oh and they--"

"Cordelia! Did they bite you?" Buffy demanded

"What? Ew…"

"Cordelia!" Buffy repeated, Ash had to like the girl if she managed to piss Blondie off that much with so little effort. Plus, she was very easy on the eyes.

"No!" Cordelia's scared lost dog look changed instantly into a look of irritation with the word (although her hotness remained, had to appreciate the versatility). "This is all your fault isn't it? You and your gang messed up something again and you better fix it! The whole town's been taken over by these things!"

"Told you…" Ash couldn't help but throw that in Buffy's face, her insistence that they do 'research' led to her towns doom, and Ash couldn't help but feel ecstatic about it!

He replaced his gleeful look with a more appropriate somber one as the Cordelia girl turned towards him while simultaneously he drew himself up to the most impressive posture he could muster. "Who's he?" She asked suspiciously.

"He's one of the good guys—I think."

"Ashley J. Williams at your service," Ash held out his non gauntleted hand which Cordelia took, "and baby, someone better call God, 'cause he's missing an angel"

…………………………

Buffy snorted…that was the lamest thing she'd ever heard. Only a complete idiot would fall for that one!

"Cordelia Chase" Cordelia replied flirtaciously eyeing Ash with interest. Her previous horror completly forgotten as she stared at Ash's admittedly handsome features. His good looks marred only by a few scars that Cordelia would undoubtabley find incredibly sexy and dangerous.

Buffy watched the pair horrified, out of all the disgusting things she'd seen this without a doubt was in the running for the worst. When the two began to inch towards each other Buffy figured it was time to jump in before something she couldn't erase from her memory happened.

"Okay, enough. Zombies remember?"

"Deadites" Ash corrected, releasing Cordelia's hand, his eyes still taking in everything about her except her face. While Cordelia seemed to have eyes for nothing besides his…oh god this whole exchange was horrifying. Buffy reached out and grabbed Ash's gun out of his slackened hands.

"Hey!" He turned and grabbed for it as Buffy held it behind her, it was a good feeling to taunt him with such a childish game as "keep away", since her height had made her a victim of the game since she was young.

"Once Cordelia leaves, you can have your gun back…Cordelia, the gangs in the library, head inside they'll fill you in" Cordelia looked one last time at Ash and turned to enter the building, obviously overjoyed to be going inside were she assumed it would be safe.

Ash eyes bounced back between Cordelia and his gun, apparently torn. After a few seconds his shoulders slumped and he focused solely on his gun, except for the odd venomous looks he shot towards Buffy.

"Okay, she's gone. Gimme my gun!" Buffy tossed it his way and he caught it easily.

"So, were do you say we look for these things?" Buffy asked conversationally

"Look? It's not as though they'll be hiding…they'll come to us."

"Are you sure?"

"Look babe, there's one thing I know, and that's deadites"

"The only thing you know…"

"Exactly! –hey…"

………………

Sure enough, after a few minutes of walking and not bothering to keep their voices down they acquired a cadre of undead stalkers, All of whom Ash quickly dispatched with a well aimed shot to the brainpan.

Oddly, his gun didn't ever seem to run out of ammo...

After seeing the head's blown off of several of the undead creeps, Buffy began to feel cheated; she really wanted to take vengeance on these creatures and didn't expect them to be so easy to kill. It wasn't until Ash informed her that they had to be dismembered as well that she received a sudden jolt of sadistic pleasure that she tried to deny. She only did this because it was her job, she didn't do it for fun...at least she thought she did...

Despite her brain telling her she was only doing what was necessary and that she didn't enjoy the task, she knew deep down that she really did take great pleasure in chopping the undead creatures up with an axe that had ironically been gifted to her by Xander several months before.

She'd stopped looking at the faces of the damned upon thinking of her first encounter with the few she recognized in the library. Had she looked she knew she would have recognized many of them…people she went to school with, people she'd seen everyday…people she would have wanted to save. She couldn't be tempted to risk everything to save them. Ash had at least taught her one thing; they couldn't be saved, only stopped.

_Review, review, review…is my brainwashing working?_


	8. The Chainsaw

_Okay…writers block is horrible. It's always in the back of your head poking at your brain and mocking you! So here's my sincerest apologies…life, school and my own dreadful brain hate me and banded together to torture me out of writing. So because of the extreme not appearing of this chapter, I brought back by popular demand the thing that people seemed to ask for most. I also skip through POV's like flowers...sorry if it gets at all confusing. Enjoy. _

_**Chapter 8: The Chainsaw**_

"Why is Xander in a cage?" Giles looked up from the evil book at the sound of the familiar, usually unwelcomed voice.

"Cordelia…" He sighed, now was most definitely not the time, fortunately he was spared the effort of thinking of a tactful way to break this to her (why he was bothering, he couldn't fathom as she certainly wouldn't have done the same for him. Sometimes he was just too British for his own good) when Cordelia interrupted him…as always.

"I know, I know. You're in the middle of some big crisis again, right? Buffy and the Hottie filled me in—well…kinda, she seemed sorta distracted, y'know? And by the way, where did you pick up the Hot—"

Giles allowed his mind to wander, it was a skill he'd honed to perfection since moving to Sunnydale. It was put to good use now droning out Cordelia's tangent about Ash's chiseled features, it wasn't until he heard the word 'zombie' that his attention was brought back to the girl.

"—So my parents went completely Dawn of the Dead and turns out, the whole towns that way. I sorta figured that I'd take my chances with you guys…"

"We're so very pleased." Giles said dryly, he was being snarky and he knew it. It had been a long night and quite honestly Cordelia's constant prattle on top of everything else was giving him a headache. Cordelia shot him a withering glare that would have cowed a lesser man, and flounced over to the seat farthest from the book cage. She then proceeded to give them exactly 30 seconds of peace before…

"So, why _is _Xander in the cage?"

"The real question is why you aren't!" Had he really just said that…it really had been a long day. He saw the hurt look on Cordelia's face, and regretted what he'd said almost immediatly. It wasn't her fault this was happening, in fact if you had to put blame on someone it was _his_. And that was the thought that kept nagging at his mind...this had all been his fault.

……………………..

Willow couldn't fail to notice the hurt look that briefly crossed Cordelia's face and despite having full awareness of what a snobby bitca the Cordelia she knew and loathed was, she still knew that she hadn't deserved to face the wrath of Giles. Giles was just in a bad mood for some reason. She suddenly felt the need to console Cordelia. Something she figured she'd never find herself doing...today was just full of surprises.

"Sorry, Cordy…Giles is just kinda cranky today…" She glanced at Giles, who'd resumed study on the flesh bound book...at least that was what he meant for them to think, though she couldn't help but notice his eyes weren't moving. Nonetheless, having to stare at that _thing_ couldn't have been helping his mood greatly.

She looked back at Cordelia who was staring at her with a look that was obviously quite foreign to her face. Concern. Willow's confusion was clear for a moment before she realized what she must look like.

Her face was red and tear streaked, she could feel it...her eyes were slightly puffed and she probably looked like her puppy just got ran over…multiple times. Which was pretty much how she felt actually.

"Willow, what happened?" Wow, she must look terrible if Cordelia was actually forced to think about other people for a change!

"Xander." Willow said quietly, "he's one of them...a--zombie or whatever they are, that's why...y'know, the cage" she glanced down to blink tears away again. He'd be fine, she chastised herself for crying...he'd been through worse. _They'd_ been through worse.

"Oh my God…" Cordelia looked over at the cage, another foreign look of fear marring her beautiful face for a split second. Xander was staring at them, having given up his screaming some time before and contenting himself with just staring at Willow, trying to break her down. As Cordelia glanced over at him he arranged his insane look to one a bit more forlorn. "He looks the same"

"Sometimes"

"Oh…" She trailed off with a weird thoughtful look on her face, her change in demeanor was really starting to freak Willow out. Just a suddenly as the thoughtfulness came, it was gone and replaced by a strange sort of pep.

"…Well, you'll get him back, that's what you do…you and your freaky gang, why do you think I always show up here when the things go wrong and insane invisible girls are stalking me… you guys are good at that weird stuff."

"Thanks Cordelia…that actually sounded like a compliment"

"Don't expect it all the time, I'm having a good day…did you see that Ash guy?!" She leaned forward conspiratorially, her eyebrows raising suggestively.

Willow smiled, the world was back to normal and for a moment she wasn't distracted by her best friend who continued to stare at them with a sadistic smile.

* * *

The deadites had thinned. Slightly. A night of hard slaying had shown the slayer one thing. This battle wasn't going to be won by her. There were simply too many of them, and they multiplied to easily, a bite, sometimes even a scratch and you added one more zombie to the horde. It was an impossible task and every step she took away from the library the more she felt like an idiot.

She hadn't planned on leaving her friends for this long. Leaving them at all had been stupid, she'd been so intent on getting revenge for Xander that she'd forgot to think. She'd allowed herself to get swept up in Ash's plan to kill any and all deadites they found. Now, she just wanted to get back to the library and make sure the rest of her friends were okay, because there was really no more she could do here unless she planned on taking out the entire town (which she hadn't ruled out).

She was just about to suggest this to Ash when she stopped mid-step, mid thought actually as she relised what she'd just though 'the whole town'... how could she have forgotten! Was she that bad a person? That terrible a daughter?

"Ash" She said turning to find no one there…in her musings Ash had gotten several yards ahead walking with an odd sense of purpose.

"Ash!" she said louder and more forcefully, jogging for a second to catch up. "I just remembered…I need to go home."

"'Kay, see ya." He kept walking

"No, I need you to come, you know these things! I need to make sure my mom's okay!" He kept walking and she ran to catch up again, "Hey! Were are you going"

"To pick something up..." She suddenly realized what he was heading for, a motel lay nestled in a charming nook of construction and dilapidated buildings…his place. Figures he'd go cheap. She stopped, torn between following him and running home. She had no idea that the infection had spread this rapidly and no clue if it had reached her house and her mother yet…if she was too late…but she couldn't go without Ash, he knew way more about these things than her. Anxiously she followed him into the darkened room.

* * *

The room was tiny, containing the typical motel wares. A bed took up the majority of space, the covers were thrown about and there was trash and magazines lying about everywhere. Normally Buffy would have assumed the place was ransacked, but knowing Ash it was obviously just bad housekeeping. Above the bed was a crooked painting of some sort of ship and across from the bed a small television sat next to a door that Buffy identified as the bathroom from the smell.

Ash wasn't heading to any of these areas though; he walked straight across the room to the small set of drawers that were not completely closed. On top of them there stood a lamp, a bible and what appeared to be a chainsaw. She followed him, accidentally stepping on one of the magazines, dirty, she should've known. She continued on until she could just make out Ash's face in the pre dawn light. He was holding the chainsaw, looking at it with a sort of reverence that Buffy would never have thought could be given to such a rusty weapon. She watched with a strange fascination as he pulled off his metal gauntlet and replaced it with the chainsaw, turning he looked up and smiled with a look of completion. His Remington clutched in one hand and his chainsaw twinkling upon the other. After a few seconds it was obvious he was just striking a pose for pose sake.

"That's what you needed?" She asked, smiling at the loving look that he'd given the machine. "It's kinda old isn't it?." he glared at her and she grinned, okay so it wasn't that bad, the way it fit on his hand was kind of nifty actually and the mechanical genius it would have taken to make it was something she never would have attributed to this man, but it was so much fun teasing him.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for being such an old softie."

"Yeah, well…we've been through a lot together…and I'm not old." He turned, "So, where was it you wanted to go? I can kill things right, this baby's itching to kill again."

"Well, that's very serial killer isn't it?" Buffy turned to the door as Ash shrugged dismissively "I gotta check on my mom, c'mon"

* * *

He hadn't seen anything, and when your job title is "Watcher" that's a very embarrassing statement. He'd heard a click, a scream and then hello darkness my old friend…in his case this statement was literal, unconsciousness really was becoming something of buddy.

* * *

The door was ajar, never a good sign. Buffy ran towards the house, Ash ambling along behind her.

"Mom? Mom!?" She ran throughout the house as Ash took in his surroundings. It was clean, bit too clean…when he was growing up, his house always had a bit of organized chaos about it. He and Cheryl had been rambunctious kids, 'till she'd grown out of it and he hadn't. They'd grown apart then, and the when he invited her to the cabin with them it was his way of trying to reform the bond they once had. He'd even been all proper around her in an attempt to convince her he wasn't just the chauvinist jerk she saw him as. In a way it had worked, before she died the two of them had been closer then they'd been in a long time. He forced the memories from his mind, the girl was coming back.

"She's not here"

"Struggle?"

"No…no signs of one at least" Buffy groaned and sat down on her stairs, face tucked down, hands on her head. Ash moved closer to her, stooping slightly.

"Hey, that's a good thing…don't give up on her. If she's anything like you I'm sure she beat the damn things into a pulp…or annoyed them so much they went away." His feeble attempts at humour weren't getting through to the distraught girl, so he tried for some logic.

"Look, the best thing you can do now is stop this thing…for everyone, including your mom." Whoa…did that come from him? He _was_ becoming a softie…was he getting old too? Ah, well…she was looking up, so he figured he must be doing the whole 'emotional connection' thing right. "You okay?" he asked, as convincing as he could manage. To his surprise and annoyance, her response was a snort…followed by a giggle. Finally ending with raucous laughter.

"See if I ever try to help again..." He grumbled, straightening up and backing away from her as she began to hyperventilate.

"I—I'm sorry—it's just…you!" She giggled again; well at least he'd managed to cheer her up, albeit, not the way he expected. He considered waiting patiently for her to calm down…but decided that he'd been adult enough for one day.

"Hey! Shut up!"

"I'm sorry—"She giggled again "I'm good..." another giggle "no, I'm done...let's go" She stood up and headed for the door.

"Where too this time Blondie?" Ash asked cheerfully jogging slightly to keep up with Buffy's suddenly brisk pace.

"Back to the library"

"No way!" Ash stopped in his tracks…"Research again! You wanna quit halfway through the battle! The nights still young!"

"The night is over halfwit." Buffy said, indicating to the pink and purple rays of light shooting up all over.

"Oh look at Miss. Perfect. It's an expression!" He started walking again nonetheless. "You recover pretty quickly, I thought you were gonna quit back there…"

"Yeah, well you're right about one thing, I'm not gonna be able find mom 'til I finish this"

"Hell yeah"

"Shut up"

* * *

Everything was a blur. Xander couldn't remember much, but what he did recall was all bad. Something was in him controlling him…he'd had the possession experience before, but it was nowhere near what that thing did to him. The Hyena's were content in just controlling his body…this demon thing was evil. It wanted to cause pain, and it did.

Xander remembered this, he remembered the pain he felt and the pain he caused Willow.

"Willow" he heard himself speak…himself, not the demon. He was in control and he didn't know how. "Willow?!" he said louder…where was he, where was she. He couldn't believe she'd leave him. It was Wil', she'd stay with him no matter what, that was just the way she was. He struggled to his feet, still trying to see anything beyond the blur. It was bright…daytime. He blinked several times until he could make out where he was. He was still at the library; sunshine was now streaming through the broken windows. The door to the book cage was hanging off of the hinges and he'd been lying a few feet in front of it. Willow and Giles were nowhere in sight, but Buffy, she was standing in the doorway, staring at him. He had just enough time to gulp.

* * *

Ash had to give it to her, she was tough. He watched her run to her friend and was afraid for a second that she'd hug him or do something equally stupid. He was convinced that she'd assume because he was out of the cage, he was cured. Apparently though, being the Slayer meant being a badass. She pinned her friend against the bars of the cage and held him by the throat.

"Where are Willow and Giles!?" She demanded

"And Cordelia" Ash added, remembering the gorgeous girl and hoping he hadn't lost another one…what a blow that would be to the world.

"Where are they!?!" Buffy pushed him back and he winced in pain struggling to speak…She was doing amazingly well; unfortunately she didn't know deadites the way Ash did. That kid was no deadite...not anymore. He didn't know what convinced him of this, call it his intuitition kicking in very late in life. All he knew was Blondie was choking the life outta a now innocent kid...

"Hey!" Surprised by himself he ran forward and pulled Buffy off the gasping kid.

"What?!" She turned on him fuming

"He's not one of them anymore" Ash nodded at Xander who was now lying on the ground, massaging his throat. She whirled around and stared at him, her demeanor changed suddenly from vengeful to hopeful. Xander gave a half wave and rasped;

"Hey Buff'"

* * *

_Just because I was late doesn't mean you are let off the hook…you still gotta review if you read it!_


	9. The Heir

Chapter 9: The Heir

"Hey Buff'"

"Xander!" She rushed at the kid and— Aw man, and now with the hugs. Why'd he have to land in the middle of a goddamn Soap Opera?

"Okay, break it up now. You forget there's an apocalypse goin' on!" Ash complained

"Wouldn't be the first." Buffy released the boy, although she continued staring at him in wonder.

"How?"

"I don't know, I just woke up and I was myself again…" He looked quite as confused and unsettled as Buffy did.

"Where are Willow and Giles?"

"I don't know…" He was cut off by a crash coming from the library's office and an annoyed voice, Willow's annoyed voice. Buffy ran across the room and tried to open the door, it was locked. The voices had stopped when she tried the door handle, and she heard shushing noises coming from within. She rolled her eyes and kicked the door down. Cowering inside where Willow and Cordelia.

Willow yelped as the door flew off its hinges, but stopped upon seeing Buffy as the perpetrator. The few seconds of silence was then broken, as usual, by Cordelia.

"Buffy watch out!" Buffy turned and saw nothing

"What?"

"Xander! He's one of them!" She pointed a shaking finger at the bemused Xander, and backed away several feet.

"Cordelia! It's okay. He's not a zombie --"

"Deadite"

"—anymore"

"Oh…" She stopped backing away and quickly traded her look of terror for look of irritation, "why am I always the last to know these things?" Her eyes traveled the room and settled on Ash; a flirtatious smile brightened her face for a moment before she caught sight of the chainsaw and grimaced.

"What were you doing in there?" Buffy asked the two girls, looking slightly amused.

"I don't know what happened, one minute Xander was in the cage, and then he was attacking us. Willow grabbed me and pulled me into the office, my arm still hurts by the way, and then she locked the door. I wanted to come out when it got all quiet, but Willow said that Xander was probably trying to trick us again, and then I broke one of Giles's weird magic thingy's--" she pointed at what looked like very expensive pieces of pottery, "--And…hey, where is Giles?"

"We kinda hoped you could tell us. Wasn't he with you guys?"

"No, he was in the back, something about another book, like he needs any more." Cordelia answered, "It was all very traumatic" she began walking towards Ash, apparently deciding that the chainsaw arm was a fair trade for someone so good looking. "I don't know how I'll ever recover…"

"I can think of a few ways…" Ash moved towards her, when he suddenly found a very unhappy slayer blocking his path, which was pathetic considering that he towered over her.

"Oh, no…you guys do whatever nasty things you want on your own time."

"And far away from us please" Xander added, horror-struck.

Ash scowled …stupid, nosy, goody two shoes.

"Xander, you're really you again?" Willow asked accusingly, it was apparent that she thought he might have been tricking them again. Xander recognized this as a challenge to prove her wrong.

"Yeah Wil' I'm me…Xander Lavelle Harris--"

"Your middle name's 'Lavelle'?" Buffy asked shocked as Cordelia and Ash snickered. Xander had a slight deer in the headlights look, obviously he had not meant for that particular bit of information to slip out, he soldiered on all the same.

"–we've been friends since we were three, I stole your Barbie once, sorry 'bout that by the way, and I've still got its head somewhere in my room, again sorry. Oh and remember that one time on that fourth grade field trip when you—?"

"Okay, I believe you…" Willow said quickly, blushing slightly before smiling, "But how?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out." Buffy replied as suddenly four pairs of eyes focused on Ash.

"What? Whaddya all looking at me for? I don't know!"

"I thought you said you knew Deadites?"

"When?!" He challenged

"A couple hours ago, you said 'there's one thing I know and that's Deadites'"

…Stupid slayer, with her stupid amazing memory.

"Okay, so maybe I said that…I meant I know how to kill 'em, I didn't say anything about knowing the particulars!"

"Have you ever seen any one just recover like this?"

"Yeah, o'course…Me. Told you this earlier, dontcha listen?"

Apparently she had a selective amazing memory.

"Anyone else…" She continued her interrogation…making him mightily annoyed.

"No!—Well…yeah, Sheila…but I'm pretty sure that was just a fluke." Ash watched as Buffy's face fell, he couldn't fathom what the problem could have been. He figured she'd be ecstatic that her friend had made a miraculous recovery; instead she was glaring at him!

"You said no one could come back!" Oh…that. "You told me! Now you're saying that there was a possibility! All those people I killed, they could've gone back to normal?"

"Hey babe, don't go blaming me for your hero complex. I didn't think they could come back…still don't in fact. 'Sides who cares, really…in the long run, we'll save more then we killed."

…wow. That pissed her off. The dark look on her face was enough to make Willow and Xander both shoot Ash a sympathetic glance. Oops…he was pretty sure she was about to kill him.

"What are you?"

Then again, maybe she'd just gone insane.

"Huh?"

"You can't be human. No human could talk that way. Those were people we were killing, do you even get that?"

Now it was Ash's turn to be pissed. It wasn't him who didn't understand, it was her. What did she know? She thought she was so put upon being the slayer. What a strain it must have put on her precious social life. She knew nothing. She still had her family, her friends. She hadn't been forced to watch them turn evil, forced to kill them. She was such a spoiled brat, who thought she had it bad. They hadn't killed humans, they'd killed monsters. Sure, there was a chance of them coming back, but how many others would they have killed first, how many of their friends and families.

"I killed my girlfriend!" He cut her rant off, struggling to remain a bit calm, it'd be no good losing his temper with his gun and chainsaw in such close proximity "And my sister…my best friend…How can you stand there surrounded by your friends and lecture me about not getting it! Could you do it…could you hack them all up?" Okay, so it had been Scottie who'd done most of the hacking, but he knew he'd said the right thing as he watched her struggle to respond. The answer was written all over her face but she couldn't say it. She had to remain the Slayer…to remain on the higher ground.

"To save the world? I think I could…" She glanced at her friends, her eyes betraying her lie.

"No. You couldn't. Even I couldn't, not at first." Wow…where had all that come from. He was usually so good at hiding all that. Now to have it brought out by this bleached blonde valley girl …he must be suffering from lack of sleep. Yep, that explained everything. He seemed to be doing well though, so he decided to just go with it…he'd probably regret it once he'd had his usual 3 hours.

"Look babe, I don't know why I survived…If I am this special keeper of the book, then I probably wasn't meant to be possessed. If I was I would have died with my friends. I'm no smarter then they were, better looking, sure, not smarter. Scottie should have lived, he was the smart one. The hero." An awkward silence followed his outburst…well, at least that was something. Although after a few minutes it began to get annoying.

"But…if – Xander?" Buffy broke the silence…although she didn't seem to be able to formulate words. She was looking off into the distance, her brain probably working furiously.

"Xander." She repeated, still lost in her own little world.

"What?" he said, staring at her concerned.

"Giles said that the book arrived here a month before you, right Ash?"

"If you say so" like he was expected to remember…

"Why here? Why this town…" She turned to Xander who seemed to think she expected an answer from him.

"The exciting lure of Hellmouthy goodness?" Buffy paid no attention to him and looked back towards Ash before her eyes began an odd game of pong back and forth between them.

"Don't you guys get it? The heir is here."

"Where?" Xander looked around for some mysterious person to step out of the (nonexistent) shadows. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Xand', I'm pretty sure it's you"

"Huh?"

"Him?"

"Ya-wha?"

Willow's mouth hung open, while the two men stared at Buffy blankly, nearly identical looks of shock plastered across their faces.

It was Xander who made the first decipherable noise, he began giggling.

Well that did it, the girl was whacked…no heir of _his_ would giggle. Unfortunately the nervous humour was addictive and he soon found himself guffawing along with Xander (a manly laugh…not some sad giggle).

"It's not funny…think about it, Xander could recover because you could recover, and you do _sorta_ look alike…"

"Him! He's all chin--"

"He's not nearly as good looking"

"Literally, like half his face—"

"C'mon Buff', do you really think…"

"It may be not be good, but my sperm's better than _that!_"

Buffy listened to her friends (and Ash), arms crossed, wondering how long it would take for them to accept what she was already (almost) certain of. She glanced about the room, ignoring them as their banter turned into logical questions and retorts…this was an instinct, logic didn't factor.

It was only then that she realized what was missing (besides Giles, who the others seemed to forget about in their shock and determination to prove her wrong)

"Hey…" she cut them off, "Where's the book"

* * *

Where was he?

Giles winced as he sat up. This was just bloody brilliant…the amount of times he'd been knocked out, he felt he was qualified for a world record. And again he had to wonder were he was, and where Cordelia and Willow were.

It was dark, but wasn't it always. If you've awoken in a strange place after being unconscious, it was a sure bet that said place was going to be dark and dank. After all, when someone hit you over the head and kidnapped you, it wasn't usually to lock you up in a bright, warm room and offer you tea. His glasses were missing, not that he needed them in the impenetrable darkness, but he never knew when his situation might change.

He felt about on what appeared to be a cement floor…always a bad sign, and he breathed a sigh of relief, lying besides him were his glasses. Probably a bit worse for wear, but then again, so was he.

He replaced them on his face and stood up, his head spinning slightly as he did so. His hand traveled instinctively to steady it and he felt something wet and sticky…either someone had spilled ample amounts of Karo syrup on him, or his head was bleeding. Yes, this whole situation was just brilliant.

A sudden burst of light caused him to squint and hold his now clearly blood covered hand in front of his face. A door had opened and a dark figure stood in it.

"You awake?" the figure stepped forward to see him more clearly, "Good…c'mon we need you"

"For what exactly?" Giles asked and the man chuckled and held up something, Giles inched forward his eyes adjusting to the light. It was the Necronomicon.

"To translate this" The man replied

Oh…just brilliant.

* * *

_I actually didn't plan to bring Xander back…but as my favourite character from the show, I missed writing for him and just couldn't leave him like that…. Oh and BTW; the obligatory, please review! Give a young writer a reason for being. :)_


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